1. Accept your place – getting mad and giving me the dirty look doesn’t do much for you.
2. Sour looks will only get you rolled sooner next time.
3. Acting like you didn’t see me pull you will not stop you from getting pulled. Just move into position please.
4. After you are pulled out don’t make a scene of looking back to make sure I got it right – don’t worry, I got it right.
5. Know how to show your animal BEFORE you get in there. The frantic look on your face when you can’t find your coach outside the ring is distracting.
6. If you are going to try being trendy with new fitting techniques – do it right. Otherwise you look like a fool and I feel like one if I have to use you.
7. If your animal is small, telling me his birth date or life history isn’t going to help your outcome. I am perfectly capable of recognizing young animals.
8. Little kids in the ring is good, but be reasonable.
9. Dress appropriately. My days of chasing high school girls with fat calves are long over and you only make it awkward for me and everyone outside the ring looking at you from behind.
10. It might be easy to judge from the sidelines but in the middle of the ring it gets intense. Be respectful – your kids will learn more from that.
11. If you are going to promote an animal that won under me, for the love of God please use a good picture. Don’t take a bad photo and make me look like an idiot.
12. Check your animals before the SHOW. You know, the basics. Make sure they have both testicles, both eyes, they aren’t prolapsing in the middle of the show.
13. Texting me before a show to tell me about your “great ones” makes me uncomfortable. So please, just don’t.
14. Suddenly adding me on Facebook two weeks before a show is annoying. Especially if I have no idea who you are.
15. STOP tagging me in your Facebook photos. Even if your animal should win, everyone on the internet now knows you have been advertising to me and it makes me nervous to even consider you.
16. If you are going to paint animals PLEASE make sure it’s dry when you come in the ring.
17. If you are going to come shake my hand at the end of the day, do it because you mean it. Don’t come up just because your parents made you and act like a jerk.
18. I don’t care what other fairs your animal won. On the same note, I don't care how much you paid for him or who said he was good.
19. I can hear you on the sidelines. Half the time I am accused of using a kid because of who she is, I don't even know her. If she'e been winning all day its probably because her animals are better than yours.
20. If you feel like smiling – smile. If you are concentrating and don’t smile that is OK too. Don’t plaster a fake smile on your face – it’s distracting and this isn’t a beauty contest (for you). And it’s OK to be serious about it – I am too.